Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't make out with my wife yet
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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