But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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