awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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