I think I died a long time ago.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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