Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
