I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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