I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
