Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
