just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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