Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
