If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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