i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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