i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize