The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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