4 words: hood of his car
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
