I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
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The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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