Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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