I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
