Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
birth control should be required to get into college
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
