I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
