Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize