so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
