she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
