its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
