hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Bring me that man meat
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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