Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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