maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
