No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is classic penis vs brain.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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