so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As shirtless as possible
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
