I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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