im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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