Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
