I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Boobs speak an international language.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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