I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
