Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
