To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize