i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
