Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
