I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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