so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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