I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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