and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize