She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
