Sry I called you an 8
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
