I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
