Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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