You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
