thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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