That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
