What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
