I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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