the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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