i think my tv is drunk
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
