"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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