A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
