Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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