Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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