I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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