I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
