Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
