How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
