I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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