genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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