this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
